How to Break Up With Your Therapist (Without Ghosting Them).
Look, breaking up is hard.
And breaking up with your therapist?
That can be even harder.
You don’t want to hurt their feelings. You don’t want to sound ungrateful. You don’t want to get a text at 2 AM that says, “We need to talk”. Wait, wrong relationship.
But here’s the thing: therapy is about you and your process. And sometimes, just like any relationship, the fit isn’t right anymore. So let’s talk about how to end things with your therapist without faking your own death (please don’t do that).
Let's Talk About It
Signs It Might Be Time to Move On
You’ve been “fine” for six months but still keep showing up out of guilt.
You’re not feeling challenged, just coddled.
You want a different approach (EMDR, somatic work, less chit-chat).
You find yourself daydreaming about another therapist like you’re in a bad rom-com.
You dread going into session.
If any of those sound familiar then trust your gut and consider moving on.
What Not to Do
Please don’t ghost. Ghosting skips the ending conversation, which can actually be therapeutic in itself. Learning how to communicate a goodbye builds the same skills therapy is trying to help you practice. Plus, if you vanish, your therapist’s brain goes: “Did they move? Are they okay? Did they get kidnapped by a cult?” (Not fun for anyone.)
Don’t lie. Saying “I’m taking a break” when you’ve already booked with someone else is like telling your partner you’re “focusing on work” while moving in with Taylor. Not exactly a good karma builder.
You don’t need to keep coming back just to spare our feelings. Therapists have their own therapists, so we can always process our own feelings with them. We’d much rather you find a better fit than have you sit in session wondering if you can Venmo request us for emotional damages.
What You Can Do
Here are some breakup scripts you can totally steal (just tell them “Mel Sent You”):
“I’ve gotten a lot from our work, and I think I’m ready to try something different.”
“I’m looking for a therapist who specializes in ____, and I want to give that a shot.”
“Thank you for everything, I think it’s time for me to pause therapy and integrate what I’ve learned.”
“I’ve really appreciated the time we’ve worked together and the progress I’ve made. I think I’m ready to move in a new direction, and explore what that looks like.”
“Thank you for all the support. I’ll carry a lot of what I’ve learned with me (and maybe even remember to actually use it outside your office😉).”
Pro Tip: If you’re not sure what to say, run it through this quick filter: Is it kind? Is it truthful? Is it necessary? Think of it like the TSA guidelines for words. If it doesn’t clear all three checkpoints, it probably doesn’t belong in the carry-on of your breakup conversation.
Why It Matters
Ending therapy isn’t a failure. It’s a sign you’re growing, paying attention to your needs, and making space for what works for you. Sometimes that means a new therapist. Sometimes it means a break. Sometimes it means you’ve done enough for now.
And therapists? The good ones will cheer you on. Even when you walk out the door.
Breaking up with your therapist doesn’t have to be dramatic. No need for a teary monologue or a Post-it note breakup à la Sex and the City. Just honesty, kindness, and clarity.
At the end of the day, therapy isn’t about keeping us happy. It’s about helping you grow, even if that means growing away from us. So, think of it less like heartbreak and more like a healthy plot twist.
Thinking about giving therapy a try (or another try)? You deserve a place where you can show up fully yourself.
LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.
